Yea, got my pay today. Meagre but at least better than nothing. My pay for working as an intern. Well, wat to do man? Life goes on.

Yesterday I said my gd fren told me abt embracing myself not into worldly affairs, I kept thinking abt it. Realli. I think from yesterday til now still haven finish thinking. Im a deep thinker thats y la.

I taught abt my future, wat to do, wat will I become, will I become one of those old uncles who r not married and dun hav a proper job which resorts to selling tissues? Yea. One of the main issues is whether am I good enough for someone anot? My the other half. I kept thinking abt it, and I asked my another fren whether he thinks Im ready for a relationship and replied yes. He felt that I am mature enough to handle relationship and the rocky paths that will eventually be led. But I asked myself, "Am I realli ready?" Confusion more confusing than Confucious himself. I felt Im not mature enough, and still not stable yet. Stable as in realli super stable when I will b independent and stand by her in her times of needs. And having a stable income. After much thought, I feel Im not ready. This thinking led me to think whether WHEN will I be mature enough? WHEN? Or maybe never? If never being stable and mature enough, my mother will juz nag me y dun hav my the other half. But still, if thats the case, I hav to accept it then. Hmm.. sad but will accept it. Then will kanna accused of being an old perv who stalks gals. -_-"

Read an article months or years ago, abt a 41 year old man, bachelor, then hav a gf. But after some time, the gf brought this man to court saying he raped her. I was like wat the hell~!? The poor man defended himself saying he did not touch her or wateva but the gf insisted he had done it. Poor man, although not convicted wif rape charges, still his heart is left broken to bits wif a bad reputation hang over his head. Wat will he be to his frenz, his family or even his colleagues? Will I become like him? 41 year old and still a crappy old man who kanna accused of being a perv? Seriously, my face looks like a perv thats y ppl kinda avoid me :<

Wats more, the media and the outside world filled wif competition. People want the best, so as to win other ppl. They want the 'C's. Wateva 'C' oso want. 7'C's or even 8'C's. Read forums abt relationship abt gals and guys. Hm... Most of the gals sae guys always want SEX, physical contact blah blah blah. Sae guys fickle minded, flirt, not understanding, not sensitive to feelings. Yes the guys they met r mayb liddat, but its not the WHOLE men r liddat. Some guys oso nvr set gd example oso spoil the reputation. Haiz.. so sad. But hey, Im not blaming anyone, its part of life and the society nowadays la, ppl more open minded abt stuffs. Oh well...........

Luckily today office work alot, alot of sai kang oso, thats y nvr think alot during work. Luckily sia or else I may break down. I siao, I noe, abit mentally unstable oso. LOL!

Today Happy Teacher's Day. School holiday for sch bois and gals, no wonder arcade alot of ppl, holiday mah. Lol~ And oso watching ppl dance Para Para lo........