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Monday, February 28, 2005 I came to know that this particular girl I like got attached 3 months ago and I just knew it yesterday. I didn't know it before. The signs weren't there and I knew she kept it under wraps. Basically I just feel like crap before sleeping yesterday. So I couldn't sleep and I tossed around for like an hour before going to dreamland or just sleep. Luckily, there aren't any lessons on the next day which is today, which I woke up like 10am? Hmm... the first girl I like after 14 months of not liking anyone is her. The previous girl before was a bad mistake. She had a boyfriend and (of course like this time round, I still didn't know it until I saw her friendster status) I saw hers in the end and I saw a testimonial she gave her boyfriend. It was long, mushy and sweet. It was VERY long, mushy and sweet. No wait, it was SUPER DUPER !@#&^*! long, mushy and sweet. So I guess I stopped visiting her friendster page after that. I won't want to see what she wrote for her boyfriend again. It was painful and hurting. But I forgot her soon... about 1 month or so? And I still saw her in school shortly after that and she knew I liked her but that period she and boyfriend kept sticking together. What did that mean? Now a similiar case happened. Its hard to get her off my mind but I had to. The agony of knowing the truth of her having a boyfriend was devasting enough. But now the process of forgetting someone is more of what I came to know about... alot more. But what the heck... Life has to go on. I hope I won't do something ridiculous... I hope... I hope... I hope... On a ligther note, today was certainly a better day than yesterday, contrary to the fact that there is only Monday blues but not Sunday blues or Friday blues. Thank God. Its raining heavily today, even for a short while and I could just feel the air being cleared up by the showers. Hm... Good rain. Good rain. So I came to school and I didn't really do anything. Well I hoped that I did something but in the end I did nothing. Alright. My mind is totally blank now. I started to write this since an hour ago. Lost my train of thoughts. Lost. Lost. Gone. Vanish. | |
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