Have you felt no one understands you? I did. Your needs, your feelings, your thoughts and emotions. No one knows why you are sensitive and negative and have extremely doubtful thoughts.

Maybe I always had been rejected and not really accepted thats why. Maybe thats why I don't really love myself and see my flaws, and let the thoughts fabricated til almost the point of self destruct.

Is it really hard to understand me? Maybe I dont understand myself at all... Maybe its the low confidence... that bruised ego.. but if people don't give you the affirmation, how do you affirm urself? Maybe I should love myself more...

I want to be accepted, but dont we all? Is it that hard to accept who I am? I shall accept myself.. this height, this figure... this look... even people think I'm KNS but I shall try to take their thoughts as naught. Work helps me get my mind off things..

Maybe one day I should get married to my career, job or studies... Strive hard for it and let no one be in my way... Bcecause people just don't accept...

I been through lots of outings and gatherings and all its just surface thingys... What happened in the end? Hi, been nice meeting u! Lets... like... not meet again! And The End.

Is it really hard to find someone who loves you for you? Rather because you can buy them jugs, shots, knock them drunk silly, show huge, biceps with mice, big, wide chest or tall, sharp, chiselled look, or you earn $248872 dollars a year, drives lambo, ferrari, bmw, mercedes benz, janguar, panther, leopard, tiger, lion, whatever?????

Maybe its hard know how to go through what I been through... If I would to write my biography since the day I knew the meaning of biography, knew how to write biography, would you read it and understand it? Everyone has problems no doubt, but I would try to give them the benefit of the doubt...

Not many questions asked.

Anyway, The Warlords and Alvin and the Chipmunks were so-so shows... probably gave about 7/10ish points.

Its been 3 years since I went out on a decent date... wow... I even remembered where we went.. but its history and it shall go inside my biography too... Goody, details to fill. Is it wrong to be quiet sometimes? Why do first impressions matter? Are people that shallow?? Or is it that the people that I met that are shallow?

I'm not saint either, in fact I wouldn't even catergorise myself as nice la.. Not bf material, hubby material or tough boy, pretty boy, girly boy, sissy boy, metrosexual boy, type of material laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa............... Not manly at all..

Showed my temper again this afternoon at work, I think I got pretty bad temper to start with... Shouldn't waste my breath on stupid customers for a start............ Brainless freaks..............................

You had a bad day................ Yeas listening to this song now...

Make that bad days.... or bad weeks................

I can't understand how some guys can have lots of girls surrounding them.... Maybe its the looks and money factor again... No money, no honey...

Maybe its foolish of me to think that now character matters? Not really matters. Looks do... Its like given 2 different apples... or oranges.. or heck, durians...

So you got 2 durians... one looks nice on the outside, you pry open, you look at the seeds. Fresh. Tasty-looking. Probably makes you want to shallow the whole shit. You tried. Taste bad. You spat it out. But you tasted it. The point is you tasted it.

The other one looks ugly... Fuck... You wouldn't want that... Rotten smell, wrinkled appearance. You give it a miss. The point is you didn't taste it.

So this analogy is like talking about one handsome dude and me the 2nd durian. Even handsome guys who are jerks on the inside got tasted at least. So now you tell me do character matters?

Do wits, intellect and character matters?

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

The serenity prayer... Sometimes I prayed this to grant me strength through tough times like this...................

I forgot how it feels to like someone.... hadn't like someone for years..... Whats the use? Play mind guessing games again? To only lose out in the end? Hmm.. I want to be the cop in HEROES, at least to read peoples' minds.